Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Sexuality as a Choice

It's a controversial topic across the United States: is sexuality a choice or genetic? Edge of Grace, by Christa Allan, forces the reader to consider this question while watching a woman's family life fall apart around her.

When David tells his sister that he's gay, she shuts down. Caryn ignores her brother and acts quite selfish throughout the beginning of this ordeal. She doesn't want her brother to be gay, as if she has any say (or that her wants for David's sexuality matter). Caryn acts like her brother's homosexuality is the worst thing to happen to her - worse than her husband's death. She can't realize that he's the same person, with a new perspective on which gender he finds himself attracted to.

Is this a common occurrence everywhere? Do family members and friends really veer away from those close to them whose sexuality doesn't meet their standards? Do we get so caught up in the labels that we give people that we can't just accept them for who they are?

Love is love is love. And bonds should be stronger than the words that threaten to break them.


  1. Thanks, Tracy, for echoing the message of my novel. I tell people that my brother doesn't refer to me as his hetero sister, so I don't refer to him as my gay brother.

    The Edge of Grace was published by a Christian publishing house, and I am so grateful to them for having taken this step to show we are called to love. Period.

    Great statement about bonds stronger than words.

  2. I think one reason it's such an issue with Christians is 1) it shames us, 2) we don't want to appear to be accepting or permissive of the sin. It's so much easier to condemn and shut out than to hate the sin and love the sinner. If we had a loved one who was an adulterer, we wouldn't say, "This is my adulterous sister." We might be apt to shun her as we would a homosexual loved one. The point is, sexual sin is sexual sin. Sin is sin. Though we must not condone sin, "let him who is without sin cast the first stone." This does not mean we allow unrepentant sin into the church. If your youth pastor turns out to be a pedophile, you don't keep him employed as a youth pastor. There is a huge difference between loving and person, accepting them the way they are and condoning what they do. I have loved ones who've committed sexual sin. I don't love them any less, but I don't approve of their conduct, either. And it's the same with other types of sin. Anger, for example. Be angry and sin not. I constantly remind my boys of this. They come from a bunch of hot heads on both sides. Sinning in anger is devastating and wicked. It's not to be tolerated, but we don't love that person any less who struggles with that sin. We may have to separate ourselves from them to a degree because of it, but we don't turn our backs on them. God's grace is greater than all our sin and we need to extend that grace to others in hopes they will see Him. Hope that makes sense.